Fun on a scale of 0 to 10

Breakdown:

Eating at a grown-up restaurant: Before kids, this was one of my top two favorite things to do, right along with going to the movies. I loved trying new foods, talking with my husband, and having absolutely no dishes to clean afterward. After kids, going out to eat is akin to throwing myself on a grenade. I know the explosion is going to come at some point, so I sacrifice myself to keep the casualties to a minimum. Meals are now spent shaking objects in front of the kids to prevent a meltdown, picking crayons up off the floor, and shoveling my meal down my throat so I at least get to eat some of it before we have to do the walk of shame to the front door with screaming children in tow.

Going to an amusement park: Before kids, it was rides! games! food! fun! Now it's watching the kids have fun while we watch the coasters zoom by without us. If I'm lucky, I get to go on rides like Lucy's Camp Bus and Woodstock's Whirlybirds. So I guess there's that. Bonus is that by the end of the day, everyone is so exhausted that we leave shouting at each other through tears.

Watching TV: I'll watch anything on TV, so aside from the nonstop talking this hasn't changed much.

Cleaning: I never liked cleaning much, but I like a clean house. Using a few precious Saturday morning hours to clean seemed like such a waste, but it had to be done. Morning was whenever I rolled out of bed -- usually around 10 a.m. Once clean, the house would feel pretty sanitary for a good five days or more. Now, cleaning is my worst nightmare. Not only is there no time to knock it all out in a few hours, but immediately after I clean something, it's dirty again. I sweep the floor; Owen finds an old cracker and smashes it onto the hardwood, creating far more crumbs than mathematically possible. I wash the dishes; someone wants a snack, but not that snack, and not on that plate, and a drink, but not in that cup. In fact, I'm pretty sure my house would actually be cleaner if I didn't try to clean. Because if I lock the kids in a room full of toys so I can clean the kitchen, I return to a destroyed room that needs more cleaning.

Room full of toys? Let's pull every movie and video game out of the entertainment center! Weeee!

Me cleaning is like Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill, only to have it roll back down again, for all eternity.

Grocery shopping, alone: Previously one of the most boring items on my to-do list; however, since having children, grocery shopping alone has become a mini-vacation. I sip my Starbucks latte while cruising the isles, making purchasing decisions and comparing prices without interruption. Inwardly, I giggle at all the exasperated moms bribing their children with donuts and M&Ms. Unfortunately, next time I'll be that mom, tossing random items into the cart, trying to prevent their little angry heads from spinning, and rushing to the front to pay before I'm actually done. Of course, I leave without the one thing I went in for.